"I Don't Believe That Anymore"

The Rev. Bruce Russell-Jayne
August 17, 2008
Northern Hills Fellowship

Sermon

I Don't Believe That Anymore, Rev. Bruce Russell-Jayne

Back when I was in high school the formula for living we were supposed to follow was spelled out pretty clearly. Church, family, school, self - in that order - were to be our primary concerns. I sang in the church choir, played in the high school band, camped with the Boy Scouts, and studied so I could go to college and pursue the American Dream. These were the things our parents, teachers and ministers told us we should do. A Scout is Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful, Thrifty, Brave, Clean and Reverent That memorized Scout Law provided me values to use everyday, and I truly believed they would guide me to do the right things.

My Baptist Church also had prescriptions for living – they included what we teenagers thought were prohibitions from living - no smoking, drinking, dancing, sex, or rock and roll. We didn’t like them, and we didn’t always obey them, but deep down we accepted that they were wrong, bad, dirty or sinful behaviors for which we might be punished. My church celebrated the Lord’s Supper every three months, and at the end of the service we would recite the Apostles’ Creed, printed on the back page of The Baptist Hymnal.

I believe in God, the Father almighty, creator of heaven and earth.
I believe in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord.
He was conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit and born of the Virgin Mary.
He suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died, and was buried.
He descended into hell. On the third day he rose again.
He ascended into heaven and is seated at the right hand of the Father.
He will come again to judge the living and the dead.
I believe in the Holy Spirit,
the holy catholic Church, the communion of saints,
the forgiveness of sins,
the resurrection of the body,
and the life everlasting.

It did seem a little strange the Baptist Hymnal had us professing to believe in the holy catholic Church, but when it was explained that little “c” catholic as it was printed in the creed didn’t mean we were big “C” Catholics but that we Baptists were part of one big Christian Church I thought that was pretty cool. The Apostles’ Creed is widely used liturgically and in religious teaching. I found this convenient, memorizable summary of Christian doctrine comforting whenever I needed to articulate the beliefs of my church. For a time, these rules, and prescriptions, laws and creeds that all seemed to fit so well together worked for me. I did question them, as all good teenagers should do, as my Sunday School teacher, bless his heart, can surely attest that I did, but there really didn’t seem to be any acceptable alternative. I could break the rules, and did, but in the long run, I felt I must accept them, ask Jesus to forgive me when I sinned, and keep on truckin’.

But eventually, in young adulthood as I went through college and the Navy, the Vietnam War and the cultural upheavals in America planted questions, some would call them heretical beliefs, in my mind. Southern Baptist teachings just weren’t making sense to me anymore, and I fell away from church for several years.

Maybe it was because I grew up in a small town that I didn’t feel free to question the theology of The Apostles Creed until later in life, but sometimes people do that sooner than I did. Listen to Nancy Shaffer’s teen-aged son in her poem, Revision:
“As if it settles everything, he says,
“I don't believe in any old white-bearded
guy sitting up in the clouds.” He stuffs his
hands in his pockets, fourteen and
slouching. I want to hug him into caring.
Instead I say, “What do you believe?”
“What do you mean?”
“You said what you don't believe in-some
‘old white-bearded guy sitting up in the clouds.’
What do you believe?”
“I told you.” He shrugs elaborately, hands
so deep in low-riding pockets his long
arms are not long enough.
At dinner I pass him fresh green beans, then corn,
rice as he likes it cooked with mushrooms.
He looks up. “Um... actually, there’s more.”
So, begins.”

So, it begins she says. Just saying or even thinking, “I don’t believe that anymore,” is the place where the life of integrity begins. And it can be very scary territory to cross, full of landmines placed there by family, teachers, and yes - preachers who helped form our early beliefs. It took me many years to let go of some of my early beliefs even though I just couldn’t justify them anymore. There was a sort of Catch-22 at work there. The doctrine of the crucifixion of Christ says humans are born sinners because of Adam’s original sin, and Jesus needed to die to make up for depraved human nature. Believing we are sinful by nature was a source of shame for me, a vague feeling that there was something defective in me even though I couldn’t say what was wrong. That taught sense of shame held me back even after I came to believe human nature was not inherently depraved. But, finally I broke thru those feelings. As Rev. Gibbons’ says in her prayer:
“There comes a time - to call into question what has gone before; to resist the weight of the past….
One day, blessedly, the practiced lie dies on our lips, … and the pretending ends.
There comes a time - when somehow courage finds us, or we find courage…”

Many people are in just this spiritual territory when they find Unitarian Universalism. Having broken thru a barrier of belief is a most common UU testimony. Often, when people first come into a UU church and learn we don’t require adherence to a creed, they are incredulous. Maybe for the first time in their lives, they feel free to reject religious ideas that don’t work for them. According to the now departed Rev. Charles White Mcghee, back in the 1950s when he was preparing for the liberal ministry, there was a highly revolutionary liturgy of liberation from dogma. The leader would read one of the old creeds and after each section, the congregation would shout in unison, “I No Longer Believe That.” It’s purpose was to celebrate their disbelief, to purge themselves of negativism. Such a letting go can be cathartic, and it may be necessary if you are upset about a religious system that feels oppressive.

However, let me warn you about a UU pothole, one in which I have seen many UUs fall. The Enlightenment value of the use of reason is one of the defining characteristics of our faith. When combined with the admirable American trait of questioning authority, old ways of thinking often come in for a hard time. We are skeptics, good at skewering anybody or anything we don’t find reasonable. It can be great sport. I encourage you to practice it with gusto – even on my sermons. Just remember, throwing out old beliefs isn’t the whole game. It still leaves you without what you need to move forward. If you are stuck in the bottom of this pothole, it may be time to stop shoveling.

Unitarian Universalism offers acceptance to people who are creative doubters. We let you know it is OK to believe what you believe. Here you can bring with you the spiritual ideas and practices you find to be true. Here you will find “comrades who will keep [you] awake and on course, a religious community where [your] faith can be celebrated, stretched and refined.” But the reason we question is not to live by doubt. We question in order to grow.

In 1979, President of the Unitarian Universalist Association O. Eugene Pickett said, “The old watchwords of liberalism—freedom, reason and tolerance—worthy though they be…describe a process for approaching the religious depths, but they testify to no acquaintance wit the depths themselves…we must supplement our seeking with some profound religious findings.” Freedom, reason and tolerance are instrumental values; they provide one means to bring about spiritual growth. There are other ways.

In his 1838 Divinity School Address, Ralph Waldo Emerson gave voice to the core of Transcendentalism when he told the graduating ministers: “Cast behind you all conformity and acquaint people first hand with Deity!” For Emerson and the other Transcendalists, nature contained all the clues a person needed to have a direct experience of divinity for him or herself. Obviously, because they wrote so much, they also thought people could learn great spiritual truths from other people. Their main thrust, was not to prescribe the method we should use; it was to recommend to each of us to explore the heights and depths of the spiritual realm in order to build our own characters and to be able to use our own genius.

This brings us to yet another UU pothole – the one with a sign posted next to it reading “As a Unitarian Universalist you can believe anything you want.” This one isn’t as much a problem for UUs as it is a false warning posted by those who want to prevent others from abandoning a creedal belief system. Their warning really means, “That’s the church that doesn’t believe in anything. Don’t go there, or you may lose your soul.” We say, people believe what they must believe, not just anything they want to believe. If we could will ourselves to believe anything we wanted, why wouldn’t we simply stick with our childhood family faith? The truth is, many of us “found ourselves completely and utterly unable to do so, compelled to go a different way.” We believe what we do because something inside us says we must. I like the way Rev. Scott Alexander turns the argument. “Being a UU does not give you freedom to ‘believe anything you want,’ rather it gives you the freedom to search for and find those beliefs from which your heart and soul cannot escape!”

Rev. Tom Owen-Towle, who describes us as “Freethinking Mystics with Hands” says “The Unitarian Universalist faith features neither the certain mind nor the empty mind. Instead it fosters an open mind that can confront a novel proposal, handle an old wound, explore uncharted territory. We have forged a community where the air is fresh and flowing freely.”
The atmosphere in our church was created from the essential teachings of both Unitarianism and Universalism. Our Unitarian forebear, Ralph Waldo Emerson, resigned the pulpit of 2nd Unitarian in Boston because he could no longer in good conscience say the traditional words for communion. He could not act out what for him was a lie. He went on to become a famous lecturer and continued into his old age to preach at other churches. Once in his declining years, while delivering an old speech, he stopped in mid sentence, and after an embarrassing silence said, “I no longer believe that.” His mind had changed, and he just couldn’t bring himself to continue espousing his old idea. From Emerson we have learned to honor the integrity of our minds. We hold to what is true for us.

We are also Universalists who look for truth everywhere. We are free to search all the world’s religions and philosophies to form our own personal worldview. Yet, Universalism warns us to avoid yet another spiritual pothole – the one we fall into when we think, “If I am right, then others must be wrong.” If we demand religious claims be open to critique, and we deny that any one religion owns the whole truth, then me must also admit, “I too could be wrong.” As I have aged, I can finally admit I don’t know everything. (I hear my family members silently clapping.) There is always more to be learned about the spiritual realm. Elements of love Justice, peace and community permeate all great faith systems. We ask all who come here to remain sensitive to the spiritual testimony of others. We wish everyone to have blessings in their lives including those who hold beliefs different from ours.

So, if you are new to Unitarian Universalism, we invite you to join us. We believe all people are worthy and capable of love and compassion. We know you have the potential for intellectual and spiritual growth. We will honor your integrity and your creativity. Come, help us maintain our fellowship as an open space for emerging possibilities, a place where we can all deepen our faith and co-create a meaningful, caring community.

Shaffer, Nancy. Instructions in Joy: Meditations, Skinner House Books (Boston: 2002) 24.
Owen-Towle, Tom. Freethinking Mystics with Hands: Exploring the Heart of Unitarian Universalism, Skinner House Books (Boston: 1998) 51-52.
Owen-Towle, 7.
Morel-Ensminger, Melanie. A Faith for the 21st Century, Part III “The Hard Part,” Sermon delivered at the Unitarian Universalist Church of Chattanooga (August 21, 1994) 2.
Owen-Towle, 71-72.